One of the worst things about Postnatal Depression is that it’s a period of depression during a time when society expects you to be at your happiest. Similarly, dealing with any depression or mental health issue during a time of general good cheer and celebration can be markedly more challenging than at other times.
The Christmas period, although wonderful, can sometimes be stressful and overwhelming too. Here are my top five tips for reducing symptoms and improving mood.
Don’t take on too much
Perfectionism often goes hand in hand with anxiety, so by nature many of us will volunteer to host or organise around the holidays and will be intent on making everything flawless. A little of what you enjoy is a great thing and if offering to bake, volunteering at your child’s nursery or festive crafting is your happy place then, by all means, go for it. But if you find yourself saying yes to everything, perhaps just to prove to others (and yourself) that you’re okay, but in fact find the added stress increases your anxiety symptoms, then please give yourself permission to say no. Similarly, if someone offers their help, take it (this goes for any other time of year too!)
Lower expectations
If you’re unwell, and struggling with anxiety or depression, chances are this simply isn’t going to be the best festive period you’ve ever experienced. And that’s okay. If you lower your expectations to something more reasonable, given your current state of mind, then chances are it will be a lot easier to handle.
Caterpillar’s first Christmas was a little rough for me. He was born in the April and I got help quickly so, thankfully, I was over the worst of the anxiety symptoms by December. However, the overwhelming sense of grief and a lingering depression were still very much a part of my day-to-day life. Every special occasion or new stage in his development reminded me of the initial joy and connection that had been robbed from me, so the lead up to his first Christmas brought with it some pain too.
However, thanks to what I’ve learnt from CBT, I was able to approach the day with a rational, reasonable mind and challenge my negative thoughts into more positive ones. I knew there was no way I would get through the whole day without anxiety so I attempted to accept it and make the best of the time, even with anxiety still creeping at the edges.
Up the self-care
Self-care is so important for our emotional well being, whether suffering from a mental health issue or not. You may feel you need a little more of this than normal when under stress from the festive period, but chances are there will be less time to get it. I try to break self-care down into tiny chunks. It doesn’t need to involve a lot of time or money. My husband baths Caterpillar most nights and that 20 minute window to do something I really enjoy, or just do nothing (in peace!) can work wonders to undo the stresses of the day or relieve rising anxiety.
When surrounded by relatives at Christmas this could be tricky, but even ten minutes before bed with your favourite self-care technique (I love listening to mindfulness recordings in the early morning or late at night) can be enough to have a positive impact.
You can also explore essential oils during your self care time. Essential oils are the absolute aromas of certain plants in liquid form and depending on the source plant, they can induce feelings of calm, or give you a well needed mood or energy boost when inhaled.
When dealing with anxiety, you should opt for a calming oil such as arborvitae, or the ever popular lavender.
Focus on the positives and be present
Being both positive and present can be really challenging. Especially if, like me, your default setting is pessimism and worry! But in the latter stages of recovery I have truly found both to be more helpful than anything else.
Instead of dwelling on what anxiety has taken from you, focus on the blessings you do have. Instead of worrying about tomorrow, next week or the New Year do what you can to connect with right now instead. To reiterate, I’m not suggesting this is simple, I work on this every single day I promise you, but practice makes perfect, right?
Be yourself and surround yourself with the right people
Putting on an act can be so exhausting and mentally draining. Try to be honest with people about how you’re feeling at the moment and do your best to surround yourself with supportive and understanding friends and family members. Try to join in where you can, and be as upbeat as possible, but if you’re feeling an anxiety attack coming on or feeling particularly low it helps if you are with people who understand and will be able to offer you what you need at that time – whether that be space and alone time or engagement and distraction.
Lastly, remember that all feelings are temporary. This Christmas I feel completely different from how I did in December 2013. I’m excited and happy, and not particularly anxious. Even if this year is a struggle for you, remember there are plenty of wonderful occasions still to come in your future.
For more support re managing your mental health during the festive period feel free to watch this video on the topic.
Disclaimer: This post contains guest content and a paid link.
These are fabulous tips for helping to ease anxiety, depression and stress over the holiday period. It is so easy to take on too much and have unrealistically high expectations but taking time out for self-care and not putting too much pressure on can make such a difference. Thank you for sharing and glad to hear that you are feeling much more positive this year too.
Thanks so much for reading and commenting, you’re absolutely right 🙂 x
This is such good advice. As you say, anxiety and perfectionism tend to go hand in hand and Christmas seems to ramp up the demands in this respect to a whole new level. I adore Christmas, but sometimes get lost in my own incredibly high expectations. It makes sense when you stand back and look at it objectively as your post allows us to do. Thank you for sharing. Dawn x
Thanks for your kind words and for reading x
…. #bestandworst
I suffer from anxiety too and totally agree with being in the present. It is a really hard skill to learn and it has taken me a while to master but it is one of the best ways to manege it #bestandworse xx
It is really hard, I have to practice all the time. But it brings so much peace when you manage it. Thanks for reading and commenting x
Great piece Laura and so useful for anyone who is struggling. I’m so glad you have these techniques and are in such a better place. Thanks for sharing xx #bestandworst
You’re welcome. Thanks for commenting x
These are great tips. When I was suffering from bad anxiety due to hormonal balance I basically just stripped life to very bare because that was all that was all that I could manage, and even then sometimes not. I also found certain supplements like Magnesium powder and HTP 5 helped massively. Thanks for linking to #coolmumclub lovely x
Thanks for the tip about the supplements. And yes, sometimes stripping life back to what we really need and the simple joys can be the best thing 🙂 Thanks for commenting x
I find christmas very stressful and emotional despite it being my favourite time of the year. I deal with that by keeping evwrything low key, no big plans, just a nice quiet family time. #Picknmix
Yeah I love Christmas but make a point of taking the pressure off x
A very deep post.
I am now 8 months pregnant with my second child and I’m having a lot of anxious moments (and days). I just can’t see how we will cope! The fact that it’s a dark winter and I’m mostly stuck at home because of issues with my hip are really not helping…
My first pregnancy was so different. Positive and not overwhelming.
I am a little worried what the post partum period will bring…
#brilliantblogposts
Thank you for commenting. I think it will always be a little harder the second time around – just because you know what you’re letting yourself in for lol! I’m planning on trying for a second baby myself and it is really scary but trying to just take it one day at a time. I hope you are able to feel more peaceful soon, and remember to reach out for help if you find the anxious feelings are becoming overwhelming x
I’m so glad that you are excited and happy about Christmas and not particularly anxious! Thank-you for sharing these helpful tips.xx #KCACOLS
Thanks for reading x
These are great tips for everyone thank you! It does get overwhelming at this time of year it really stresses me out sometimes (especially as I chose now to start a new job!) So glad you are looking forward to it all this year #KCACOLS
Thanks for commenting. Pleased to hear these tips can be applicable to all 😀 x
Great tips, I myself have PND so identify with knowing how stressful these socially forced happiness and pressure upon us it. Definitely important to take time our and have steps.to help. I like to have a walk each day as my tonic. Thanks for sharing X #BestandWorst
A walk each day is a brilliant idea. I walked soooooo much when I was very bad just after my son was born. Thanks for reading x
Great tips for reducing stress for this busy, busy, busy time of year. #KCACOLS
Thank you! And thanks for commenting x
So sensible, so easy to say and so hard to REALLY do! Best of luck and I hope you do xx #MarvMondays
Thanks 😀
Good advice. I seriously need to practice more self-care. It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, I feel like I don’t get enough time for me. I made a decision to get Christmas organised early this year, but it’s still all getting on top of me a bit :/
#maternitymondays
It’s not a concept I’d ever heard of before having T but I now consider it so important. Thanks for reading and commenting x
Really good blog – informative and true. It’s nice to read about the other side of Motherhood – so many blogs are fluffed up and padded about their experiences and it’s nice to read a bit of honesty! x
Thank you, that means a lot to me as I believe honesty about parenthood is so important. Thanks for commenting x
Some great tips here, I can only imagine how hard it must be dealing with this and really do feel for all the women that do. Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix
Stevie x
Thank you 🙂 x
These are really great tips, but also a reminder to those of us who don’t have anxiety or depression to know how we can help friends who do. A really brilliant post, and another show of how far you’ve come.
Thanks for sharing, and hope you can link up again next week #thebabyformula
Thank you! 😀 x
Great tips and a great reminder that not everyone is feeling Christmassy. Thanks for linking up #maternitymondays
Thank you. It can be so rough when you’re surrounded by happiness and excitement. Thankfully I’m so happy this Christmas time but I’ll never forget how it felt when I wasn’t x
I think these are great tips. Many people can find this season overwhelming for a variety of reasons. We should all be gentle with one another; you never know what someone else might be dealing with.
Thanks for linking up.
#KCACOLS
Exactly. Thanks so much for reading and commenting x
These are really great tips. I need to be much better at self care, I think that would help me a lot. Thanks for linking up with #TheList xx
It is so helpful but so hard to make time for when you’re a busy mum. Thanks for commenting 🙂 x
Great tips, holidays can be so so stressful and it’s understandable why anxiety would be at its highest. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo
Indeed. I figure if you don’t try to do too much it will be much more enjoyable 😀 Thanks for commenting, Merry Christmas x