Talking about my mental health is the best decision I ever made. But it wasn’t an easy one. Depression & Anxiety try to take everything from us – our identity, our confidence, our happiness and – often – our voice. Depression tries to bury us, stifle us, and facing it head on can feel like an impossible task. Finding the courage to share how we’re feeling with someone else is often the first step to getting well, which is why I’m so pleased to be supporting SANE’s new #LetMeTalk campaign.
Five years ago I was suicidal. PND & Anxiety had completely consumed me and left me unable to carry out even basic daily functions. Intrusive Thoughts filled my head to the point that I couldn’t even concentrate enough to read or follow a TV show. Derealisation left me disconnected from myself, my family and – worst of all – my brand new tiny baby. I felt completely alone.
Then one day I broke down at my local Children’s Centre and confessed everything to the staff through sobs. This was the very first day of a long and winding recovery and it began by using my voice. By letting some of the darkness consuming me out.
Three years ago I shared my first blog post. At my most unwell, I obsessively searched for positive stories and hope for recovery. I made a bargain with a greater power that if they could just return me to myself I would spend the rest of my life trying to offer hope to others. I would use my voice and shout my story as far and wide as the internet would allow. So that’s what I did and there aren’t enough words for how grateful I am for being able to. For being alive and for recovering.
SANE is one of the UK’s leading mental health charities and their new campaign is all about speaking out, even when our Depression tells us not too. This can be especially true for new mums suffering from a perinatal mental health issue. Having a baby is expected be a joyful experience and admitting that we’re not feeling happy, that we’re not able to cope – or worse, that we’re having scary or violent thoughts – can feel so difficult. But by staying silent we’re only feeding our illness, whereas sharing our fears can help you to feel less alone and can be the beginning of seeking help and recovery, like it was for me.
Find out more about SANE’s #LetMeTalk campaign here.
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