Hundreds of children experience the anxiety of divorce every year. How they respond depends upon their age, temperament, and circumstances. Divorce will always influence the lives of children involved. Some of the most common responses are shock, pity, disappointment, outrage, or stress. However, it is possible for kids to emerge from divorces better and ready to cope with tension. In fact they may become more adaptable adults. According to the The Peck Law Firm, there is hope after a divorce, even for children. The most significant choice a divorcing couple can make is to actively help the kids through this uncertain time.
Prepare yourself
Many parents are unsure of how to tell their children about a divorce. It is recommended to make the discussion simpler for both yourself and your kids by planning what you will say beforehand. If you envision intense questions, manage your anxieties, and plan cautiously about what you’ll be telling them, then you will be better prepared to help your kids to deal with the news.
Be honest
Your children need to know why you are getting a divorce. Don’t give fake reasons that will only confuse them. Choose simpler words. You may need to remind your children that while you and your spouse don’t get along sometimes, parents and children never stop loving one another.
Avoid Negative Talk About Your Spouse
Kids can get trapped in the middle of negotiations, which is why you should not talk about your spouse in a bad way. Children would prefer not to favor one side—they need to be stress-free when they are with the other parent. A general rule is to abstain from saying anything negative about your spouse to your child. You may need to stay quiet. Regardless of whether your future ex-spouse is acting bad towards you, keep your child out of it. If you have to vent, do it with a friend, not your child. By doing this, you’ll be helping your child have healthy relationships, and that is useful for everybody in the long run.
Encourage your children to talk about it
Try to get your child to talk about his/her feelings. Communicating gives kids a sense of relief and can help facilitate their displeasure. Regardless of whether nothing changes, your child will feel better knowing he discussed how he/she felt. Talk to your kid about voicing disappointment without resentment. If he’s uncomfortable with discussing, propose he send a letter or an email.
Let your children communicate dissatisfaction
Try not to minimize your kid’s emotions and feelings. Offer your help and solace by telling your kids you understand – and that his emotions matter. At that point, he will be encouraged to face his dissatisfaction instead of evading it, and this will work well for him or her with their other relationships in the future.
Disclosure: This is a collaborative post.
